| The Pirate Saga |
[26 Apr 2009|08:57pm] |
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PRIVATE & CONFIDENTIAL
Dear All
Please see attachments on some recent developments in Somalia. Somalia is a country where pirates roam free throughout the land, living their lives as pirates do. Recently, the world has united in imposing their values on the pirates, forcing them from their livelihood and killing them indiscriminately, even the child pirates.
As you all know, we at the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster do not involve ourselves in secular affairs. However, this affair has gone against the word of our Lord the Flying Spaghetti Monster. He has taught that current global warming (and the eventual roasting of the world into the final al Forno, where the righteous and noodlicious shall rise to the top while the evil shall sink to the bottom and stick to the Great Baking Tray) is caused by the sharp decline in pirate activity.
The United Nations has allowed the nations of the world to unite and attack the pirates, going against the word of our Lord FSM.
Please ask your like-minded friends to join the United Nations so that you can give the vote to those who wish to be an agent of change for our Lord FSM. They could also contribute to the activities of the organization as there is much to be done for pirates in this downturn of the economy. Less and less ships are transporting valuable goods across the seas, and pirates have to risk so much more for a livelihood. Unfortunately, the Lord FSM cannot surface from his residence but shall be assisting in the background with His noodly appendages, as He always does.
This is not a Crusade of the Holy Fork against the world and its people, but it is a move to make sure that the world does not cross the Line drawn in Bolognese Sauce by our Lord FSM with His Noodly Appendages.
Ramen.
For more information on the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, click here.
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| “I wonder who's my Thevenin equivalent” ~ Teo Di Kai |
[22 Apr 2009|06:19pm] |
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First, we assume that any person, with regards to their romantic relationships, can be expressed as a
Thevenin circuit. It makes sense for the Thevenin voltage, Vth, to be related to an innate property of
a person, while the Thevenin resistance, Rth, is related to extrinsic properties.
We postulate that the Thevenin voltage, Vth is related to the innate “romantic potential” of the
person. This is a function of most of the intrinsic properties of a person, physical attractiveness,
communication ability, intelligence, wisdom. The polarity of Vth represents gender, where males
are opposite to females. Rth is thus the “romantic resistance” of the person. This is a function of the
extrinsic factors related to relationships: propensity to a relationship, social attitudes, parental
concerns, and a myriad of other factors.
With such a definition, we can define the probability of a relationship occuring as proportional to
the magnitude of current flow between the two people. A high current flow would show high
romantic potential and/or low romantic resistance.
Further extending this model, we can use general two-port amplifiers and feedback to express
complex romantic relations. For example, it is commonly held that physical attractiveness is a large
factor in beginning any relationship. However, some find excessive physical attractiveness to be a
negative factor. This can be solved by having a “gate” transimpedance, where the romantic
resistance Rth depends on the intrinsic physical attractiveness Vth of the other party, and follows a
“gate” pattern. A myriad of other systems can be conceived, and happily, can all be reduced to
Thevenin or Norton forms. These systems can be expressed as interdependent amplifiers, where the
output voltage or the resistance is a function of the other party's Vth.
The current flowing in the red line is the relationship probability current.
The best part of this model is that it explains the “spark” sometimes required to start a relationship.
To do this, we first consider that both systems are disconnected from each other. No current flows,
and no voltage is dropped over Rth. This explains why the “spark” is usually irrational, and depends
largely on intrinsic factors affecting both parties, and not on extrinsic factors. By considering the
breakdown field strength of air, 10kV/cm, and the relative distance between the two people, we can
determine the minimum voltage required for a “spark” to happen. Also, factors such as candles
emitting smoke particles, or the salty air of a sea breeze, can reduce the breakdown field strength,
and increase the chances of a spark happening. We can also observe that in movies, where “I saw
you from afar” the distance that the spark has to travel is very great indeed! The actors need very
high Vth magnitudes, and have high voltage amplifiers in between to generate such high romantic
potentials. This model does not attempt to model Internet or Long Distance relationships where
“sparks” travel via communications channels.
This sort of hand-waving cannot, however, be used to do any calculations. Detailed experiments and
statistics will be needed to establish the actual numbers, and fit the model to real life. The author
thus proposes that all persons who are interested in entering a relationship (i.e. have a crush) or
vaguely fancy someone else please tell him straight away. Confidentiality is assured. Experiments
will then be performed on both sides, including probing personal interviews, and then your
relationship potential will be reported. =P
Unfortunately, as the saying goes, “Meeting the right person at the wrong time is worse than not
meeting at all”. The above method for expressing romantic relationships as electrical circuits does
not take into account the factor of the “right time”. Perhaps with a few adjustments it will be able to
model romantic relationships properly.
May Fourier be with you.
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| I am become death, the destroyer of worlds. |
[09 Aug 2008|04:37pm] |
amidst the pomp and splendour of the Olympic Games, humanity has failed itself yet again by starting yet another war.
how many more must be made orphans before the children of the world realise the value of human life?
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| WMVP-AM |
[08 May 2008|09:33pm] |
Good afternoon once again, you are tuned in to WMVP-AM 1000, daily broadcasts live from EEE Year1/Year2 Lab, Imperial College!
Up next, we have... test 1kHz signal, for the next four hours!
After that, maybe we'll change to the test 400Hz signal, for the four hours after that!
Oh wait, what's this? Someone is hijacking the broadcast! Help!
-plugs iPod into signal generator-
Next up, we have your Mambo favourites, all day, until the lab closes. Enjoy!
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| lols @ vista UAC |
[28 Apr 2008|06:57pm] |
i've disabled vista UAC, and have had to tangle with the fact that my default user is not administrator level for quite a long time.
now, i'm just going to escalate the user to admin, because there's no point anyway. programs can gain admin access even if you're a normal user with UAC on.
not that i use vista very much, anyway.
anyway, from /. these people had something to say about UAC. [link]
basically, they've poked a big hole in UAC.
what they've done is split a program into two parts, a program (pretty graphical window that we see, use and love) and a service (hardworking bugger behind the scenes that we never really see).
UAC only monitors the program, seeing if it tries to execute privileged commands (modifying protected files and folders, or altering essential system runtime components). It also monitors the program to service communication channel, to see if the program tries to get a service to do anything funny.
However, UAC doesn't monitor the service, so basically what any programmer worth his formal parameters can do is..
Program: "Hey API, tell Service to execute 'Operation Carebear'."
UAC: "Hmm. Operation Carebear. I don't know what that is. I'll let it pass. Must be something important."
Program to Service API: "Hey Service, Program says to execute 'Operation Carebear'."
UAC: "Hmm. That's normal, the API relays the code correctly. I'll let it pass."
Service: "Right, Operation Carebear. -looks up in code book- Ahh! Here's the command. deltree C:\* /f"
and that, my friends, is why i'm going to just escalate my default user. not like i'm using Vista very much nowadays, what with exams and all, and no time for games.
hmm. maybe the new wine can support games better. I'll give it a shot when i get back to a place with more average temperature. =P
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| redmondpura |
[27 Apr 2008|05:40pm] |
i'm a bit late, but have just learned that Singapore voted YES to OOXML.
surprising, since the MINDEF has categorically phased out the use of Microsoft Office and is now one of the biggest users of ODF in Singapore.
well, but then again, one could take a roti prata and launch it from the DBS balloon, and 9 times out of 10 it would hit a M$ "partner".
let's hope that the reasons that compelled MINDEF to give up MSOffice become the reasons for the Government to give up MSOffice, and Singapore as a whole in turn.
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| wielding the green dragon |
[03 Mar 2008|12:05am] |
one does not hold a weapon, the weapon and the master are intertwined in an intricate dance.
unfortunately, it seems that the weapon is taking me for a ride now.
不知道是人玩刀还是刀玩人。
nevertheless, one day, i shall master the art, and the weapon shall finally belong to me.
till then, it's no more than a crazy-ass heavy chunk of solid metal.
that needs oiling. to prevent rust. =/
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| crystal |
[16 Feb 2008|12:14am] |
the centre atom of a body-centred cubic crystal is equidistant from the corner atoms. it also provides shielding between the corner atoms through its electron cloud.
=)
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| a simple story |
[10 Feb 2008|11:43pm] |
passion is fire,
love is eternity.
as to which is which,
what's certain is uncertainty.
the zodiac's fifth,
a beholden son.
the mirror reflects both,
but can only be held by one.
the dice have been cast,
the truths have been told.
time to sit back
and watch this story unfold.
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| mixing it up |
[10 Feb 2008|07:15pm] |
soundcraft. XLR. RCA. line. phono. gain. aux. mono. pan. turbosound (wth?)
foreign words to some, friends to me. =)
the first thing i noticed was a strong sense of deja vu. councillors (yes, ex Hwachong Councillors) were setting up the place and putting up decorations, while i was hot-fixing a speakon cable which internals had come apart.
next thing i knew, i was behind a soundcraft 11, a denon CD rack, a 300W amp, and sengchoon's laptop, and blasting chinese new year tunes through the MDH.
w00t. audio rocks man.
EEE has ruined the experience of audio. =p suddenly when i see the mixer again, all i can think of is..
Mic In: High Impedance 20mVrms.
Line In: Medium Impedance 1Vrms.
Gain: Pre-Amplifier Stage
Parametric Equalizer: Hi-Pass, Low-Pass and Band-Pass with adjustable corner frequency.
Pan: Signal Splitter
Fader: Variable Resistor.
now when i see mixers i think of signals, transfer functions, fourier and matching impedances.
oh no my impedances don't match! my signal power is cut to a quarter!
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| rush |
[18 Dec 2007|01:54pm] |
as the 747-400 flew in over lake michigan towards o'hare, the comforting feeling of low gravity signalled our descent onto land.
however, i then felt the airplane make a right turn. watching the moving map, we made a round over michigan.
"shit."
"dear passengers, the runway allocated to us is currently in use, and we can only touchdown in half an hour."
whatever happened to synchronised takeoff eh? at heathrow they were waiting for an "open window at o'hare".
the time was 18:00. i had a train to catch at 20:00. which was nowhere near the airport.
i began to chant fervently.. with the same prayer as before, but a slight modification. i must reach champaign station safely, TONIGHT.
after two rounds over the lake..
"dear passengers. we have negotiated another runway, and will be landing in 15 minutes time."
my prayers answered! next, to rush to the train.
i dashed out the plane to immigration, who happily cleared me with a few short questions. luckily, i didn't have any baggage to claim, so i dashed out to the information counter.
Time: 19:00
"how long is a train ride to the union amtrak station?"
"1 and a half hours."
"how much is a taxi there?"
"40 bucks. the train is 2. -shrugs-"
"okay thanks!"
-rush rush-
"union station please."
"huh?"
"amtrak union station."
"downtown?"
"yes."
once that was finished, i resumed chanting, stopping only to talk to ali.
after i revealed that i was going to be late for my train, ali stepped on it. however, he still managed to keep safe distances. but he was swerving all over the place, answering the phone and all. =p the traffic on the highway was almost start-stop.
"okay here we are. good luck to you yeah.."
"cheers mate!"
after that i realised he probably wouldn't understand. =p
when i hit the station, i ran to print my tickets, got them, and dashed onto the platform. the train was there honking its horn. 5 minutes after i got on the train, we left chicago for urbana.
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| shouldn't have |
[09 Dec 2007|11:35pm] |
shouldn't have turned on google earth.
shouldn't have made singapore my starting location.
shouldn't have zoomed in.
shouldn't have looked.
all the names, places, buildings..
just pixels on a 17" screen.
bits and bytes of red green and blue..
yet
they tug at my heart so.
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| pascal |
[28 Nov 2007|10:36pm] |
You have entered the EEE building. The sliding doors shut quietly behind you. A weird sculpture is in the centre of the lobby. From the south, muffled chatter can be heard from the common area, while to the north, people are queuing up at the cafe. There are two lifts in front of you, as well as a large staircase heading up and down.
Exits: [n s e u d lift]
> go north
You are at the cafe. It is early in the morning, and the queue is short. Before long, you are at the front of the queue. The lady behind the counter smiles at you and asks what you would like to have.
> look at menu
Espresso S 1.20 L 1.50
Americano S 1.30 L 1.60
Cappucino S 1.30 L 1.60
Mocha S 1.50 L 1.80
> give student card
> give discount card
> buy L mocha
You buy the large mocha for 1.50. Bargain!
BONUS! The lady asks you if you would like whipped cream on your mocha. [y/n]
> yes
You have obtained a cup of steaming hot mocha with whipped cream on top.
> drink mocha
The heavenly combination of sweet sinful whipped cream, hot tasty chocolate, and the invigorating coffee refreshes you!
(Effect: Merry Mocha Mirth)
> info effect "Merry Mocha Mirth"
Effect will last for 2 hours.
Programming +100
Morale +50
Alertness +20
> go south
You are in the main lobby of the EEE building.
> go up
You are on the 3rd floor of the EEE building. A large noticeboard is in front of you. The corridor runs north and south, and the stairs go up or down. A few classrooms are here.
Exits: [n s u d doors]
> go south
You are walking down the south corridor on the 3rd floor of the EEE building. The long corridor, artificially lit by flourescent lights, reminds you of a hospital corridor. The computer labs are to your left, and the offices are to your right.
Exits: [n s e w]
> go east
The door is closed.
> pull door
The door does not budge.
> unlock door
The door is not locked.
> push door
The door opens.
> go east
A sense of home overwhelms you as you enter the room. Row upon row of computers greet you, together with your fellow coursemates.
> sit down
[YOU HAVE BEEN ATTACKED!]
Level 3 Programming Test : 1000HP
The programming test attacks you with fiendish programming question!
> examine question
The question requires you to solve for multiple inputs and multiple summations.
> activate skill "Math"
Math activated! You now resist 50% of all Math damage.
> activate skill "Programming"
> open texteditor "Notepad++"
The programming test cowers in fear at your l337n355. Damage reduced by 50%!
> use functions
Your skillful use of functions allows you to hit harder and faster!
Level 3 Programming Test: 800HP
> write program
The mocha coursing through your veins causes your hands to vibrate at the same speed as the keyboard response time, causing you to type at maximum speed.
The computer shudders as you code blisteringly fast, defining functions as you go, and writing procedures on the fly just to save time.
Level 3 Programming Test: 400HP
The programming question attacks! For large values, the sums will overflow! You take 50 overflow damage!
> write overflow_checking_routine
Your extensive overflow check routines catch the overflows before they have a chance to hit you. You output a capital OVERFLOW to the programming test!
Level 3 Programming Test: 200HP
The programming question attacks! The user input may be erroneous! You take 50 LUSER damage!
> write user_input_evaluation_error_handling
You begin to code the error handling routines, but as your fingers touch the keyboard, you feel the effects of the mocha slowly wear off. You eyes start to droop, the code on the screen blurs, as you slowly drift off to sleep.
The programming question attacks! User inputs not handled! You take 50 PEBKAC damage!
The programming question attacks! User inputs not handled! You take 50 SELECT * FROM USERS WHERE CLUE > 0 damage!
The programming question attacks! User inputs not handled! You take 50 WHERE IS THE ANY KEY? damage!
The programming question attacks! User inputs not handled! You take 50 WHAT POWER CABLE? damage!
The invigilator walks over.
You wake up.
Checking your answer, he awards you an A.
> use grade
You have defeated Level 3 Programming Test!
Gained: 50 exp 0 gold.
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| blood, sweat and tears |
[27 Oct 2007|12:12pm] |
when all you see is the drop of sweat hanging in front of your eyes
when all you hear are your muscles screaming for you to stop
when all you feel is the blood coursing through your veins
when all you taste is your own parched throat
when all you smell is your salty sweat
that's when you go the step further
and take another leap
and find it impossible to wake up the next morning.
-groannn- aches and pains r us! =p
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| low expectations |
[09 Oct 2007|09:21am] |
haha. my tutor's not here... so i only have to go to sch at 12 today! muahahaha.
and i realised that some stuff on my timetable is every other week for me. so it's even better!
haha. my timetable is starting to look better. maybe it's just the low expectations. =p
ohwell. having lots of fun! fourier and all. =p
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| stiff upper lip |
[04 Oct 2007|07:47am] |
first post from london!
been rushing about the first few days. haha. unfortunately, in london, the only good entertainment is boozing, and that's what we did the first TWO nights. =p
my hall had a silly singaporean type challenge, "notting hill invasion", with a list of things to do. i was wrapped up in toilet paper, whilst sitting atop a phone booth. a few of my friends ran in their boxers across a tube station.
next, the actual work.
first day at EEE: "introductory lecture"
second day at EEE: "diagnostic math test"
third day at EEE: "group project"
man. sounds great already.
the diagnostic math test was horrendous. it was all easy. like. i've done this before easy.
10 minutes into the test, my hand started to hurt. like the writing muscles reactivating.
after the usual differentiation and integration came partial fractions. okay..
trigonometry... okay...
VECTORS... OH SHIT.
completely forgot everything... left two questions unfinished... bad form bad form... hahaa. angle between two vectors and equation of line. okay okay i know.. A level stuff... if i was fresh from A level i would have known how to do it too larh! 3 years is a long time. =p
ohwell.. project meeting later!
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| what is this rice cooker doing here? |
[25 Sep 2007|05:40pm] |
"excuse me, sir, please take your bag and step this way."
"please place your bag on this counter and open it."
"what is this?"
"a rice cooker."
"why would you bring a rice cooker on a plane?"
"no self-respecting terrorist would seek to hijack a plane armed with a rice cooker."
heh heh.
aargh. flying tomorrow. haven't eaten enough food yet. =p now i know how my class PRCs feel.
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| initial D at 10km/h |
[20 Sep 2007|09:43pm] |
the engine roared as my tail went wide and i depressed the clutch. as the steering just began to lose response, i quickly swang back into countersteer and popped the clutch. a banshee scream echoed as the tires caught the tarmac and pulled me back in line.
problem is, i wasn't doing it with tire squealing at 70km/h, but on ssdc's driving circuit at 10km/h, wheel dollys clanking away behind me. and it was the most fun thing i'd ever done in a while, because we were constantly drifting figure 8s around two cones!
defensive driving course today. was REALLY FUN! and i can't reiterate that enough. it started off with a theory lesson about driving attitudes, then on the circuit where we were taken through car control..
1) "octopus" course. they laid out a square, slightly more than 1.5x the car length, using cones, with only one entrance, barely wider than the car. the objective was to enter the square, perform a five-point-turn, and exit the square without hitting any cones. my first try was over 2 minutes, while my last try was about 38 seconds. =p the instructor did it in 22 seconds, and said competition times were faster than that!
2) crank course and S course. for those who remember their lessons, we went the circuit crank course and S course, in forward and in reverse... with timing!! i mounted kerb once... but my final timing without hitting kerb was 33 seconds. muahahahhaa..
3) e-brake and pylon slalom. driving license requires e-braking from 40-50km/h. this time, the circuit was closed, and we went 70-80km/h. first time i felt my back slide out during an e-brake. pylon slalom felt easy, but apparently the instructor said not many people can do it so fast the first time. quite exciting, swerving through the pylons..
4) skid control! the most fun part. they mounted the car's rear wheels on dollys, so the rear wheels basically could go in any direction. drifting around a figure 8 at 10km/h basically looked like this: link. and trust me, it's more fun when you're the one driving. =p
5) outside driving. we drove outside, and the instructor assessed us on our driving attitude and skills.
*** BEGIN SSDC PLUG ***
i would recommend everyone who can drive to go for at least one defensive driving course. not only is it a whole lot of fun, you get to learn skills, driving techniques, and most importantly, the attitude of driving to prevent accidents.. it's a shame that apparently only ssdc conducts it for private candidates in singapore nowadays.. we should have more centres do this fun thing!
*** END SSDC PLUG ***
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| engraved in the annals of time |
[10 Sep 2007|04:42pm] |
Straits Times, 10 Sep 07, H8, Youthink
'The day after 9/11, my teacher branded my classmate a "monster" in class. We were then Secondary 3 students asked to pen our reflections on the incident.'
w00tn3ss!
anyway, hi to everyone who has accidentally stumbled upon my blog! =)
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